i am safe.
i am safe is an ongoing series of practical checklists and resources that help women navigate their healing journeys with more support and ease.
No. 1 - I am safe.
Have you experienced an emotional or spiritual trauma as a result of leaving an abusive relationship? Do you have a dear friend or family member that has? In the days, weeks and months after a spiritual upheaval such as this, decision making and daily tasks of self-care can feel impossible to manage, especially when without in-person support.
Inspired by my own healing journey from a domestic abuse relationship, and the lack of resources available in the first few critical weeks of that journey, I've created this free checklist of practical healing tools to aide in spiritual anchoring during the day to day when your mind and heart are in recovery.
Access it here and keep it pinned to your door or in your pocket for as long as you need.
No. 2 - Face the fear and do it anyway.
After I left my domestic abuse relationship, I found myself up against constant fear about the decisions I was making in my life. Did I make the right decisions? Am I making the right decisions now? Am I going in the right direction? What do I do? Am I going to be ok? How do I feel the fear and move forward anyway?
I often use music to get myself back on the track to a beautiful future -- the one I trust and believe in deep within my heart. If I am feeling overwhelmed, I pop on a song to reset my mind. If I am panicking about what the future holds, I listen to a song that brings me back to the present. If I am feeling paralyzed by anxiety, I turn up the music to get me back to my center.
When I am feeling untethered in the unknown, music has helped me face the fear and then get back to being "productive, happy, forward moving" aka getting done what I know needs to get done, keeping the faith that everything is going to be alright, and knowing: i am safe. Kick that paralyzing fear in the rear with this Spotify playlist here (I've made it a collaborative playlist, so you can add your favorites.)
No. 3 - a checklist for healing after day 200.
This third installment of the i am safe series –checklists and resources for the healing journey after spiritual trauma– is dedicated to the entrepreneurs, creatives and makers who are often growing so many parts of the self and life at once.
How do you manage it all simultaneously?
This is a checklist for consistent, sustainable growth of business and healing at the same time.
No. 4 - Trusting the signs in your body.
In this fourth installment of the “i am safe” series we learn how to read the various signs and signals our bodies message through to us in its subtle and not so subtle movements, in order to determine whether a situation, environment or thought is safe or unsafe.
Use this exercise and question guide to learn more about your body's unique messages through it's movements.
No. 5 - Trigger This.
In this fifth installment of the i am safe series we look at self-care options for when our past traumas are triggered. Triggering is when a current circumstance brings forth the cellular, visual, and/or emotional memory of a past trauma, causing a new distress. This check-list is designed as a cheat-sheet for self-care during and after moments of being triggered to help you find your physical footing and emotional anchoring.
Download the self-care cheat sheet for those unexpected moments of triggering and tuck it into your purse, pocket or place of safe-keeping.
No. 6 - A Sense of place.
Place and space are critical to healing. Place can help anchor you, and space can support ease of your breath. Places and spaces can provide protection and carry energies that aid in healing, yet they also carry energies that can hinder it. In this sixth installment of the i am safe series we look at the a/effects the energy of a place can have on emotional, spiritual, mental and physical healing.
Download this worksheet for learning how to develop a sense of place and create a space that supports your goals for your healing journey.
No. 7 - I Will not apologize.
Many of us have been conditioned to perform quietly, exist within molds, play small, and accept ceilings and limits that go against our inner values, integrity and dreams. And then, when we challenge these codes we are taught to apologize. Our intuition is minimized, and we are gaslighted and manipulated into believing that our worth is determined by others. But when you stop apologizing for being who you are and what you need, you are vocalizing your boundaries and reclaiming yourself in the process.
What will you no longer apologize for? Download this worksheet with writing prompts to help you get started.
No. 8 - I Give Thanks to Myself.
Celebrating the small victories, being gentle with ourselves after grieving and giving thanks to the vehicles (our bodies) that drive us forward are some of the ways to refuel our energy on the healing journey. Therefore, in this edition of i am safe, you are asked to write a letter of thanks to yourself — for all that it has endured and worked through.
This edition of i am safe is inspired by a personal practice I held while I was in my own domestic abuse relationship. I would often browse the isles at Hallmark and purchase cards for myself, especially during the holidays, with sentiments I dreamed of one day receiving from a lover’s heart. I would keep these cards in my desk and in my art folders, and read them to myself as reminders that I was still worthy of Love.
You are worthy of love. Use this template to help you get started in writing a letter love and of gratitudes For Your Self.
No. 9 - I remember Me.
How has your self transformed from before you entered an abusive relationship to where you are now on your healing journey? What did you love to do that you now miss doing? What have you given up because you are healing? And what parts of yourself do you want to revive?
We may lose or reduce parts of ourselves during an abusive relationship as a form of self-preservation, but we never forget who we are. Spend time with these journaling prompts for unearthing and rediscovering pieces of your core self that may have been buried, oppressed, and diminished within abusive relationships and environments. These prompts are designed to help you explore and discover passions and activities that make you feel whole, joyous and excited for your life in the present moment. Download the prompts here.
No. 10 - Developing a Practice - Treating Your Life As Art.
Life is a practice: of decision making, holding boundaries, exercising voice, creating, keeping faith,
Practicing Life to discover what we ultimately want and don’t want, to choose how we want to develop the canvas of our time. Living life as a practice and practicing life is...like making art. How do you want to shape, collage and color your life? What practices are needed in order to reach your vision?
This quick worksheet is designed to help you explore the spaces in your life where a practice or grounding ritual will support reclamation of self and restore sovereignty, followed by the development of them.
No. 11 - New Look, New You?
There will be periods in your healing and in your life when you will feel the call for change, a change that requires the release of an old way of doing, being — and in this case dressing. Sometimes, that change will manifest as the adoption of a new style or way of presenting oneself.
What if, after one year, or many, of healing, you feel a natural calling to switch up your style, adorn yourself in an honorary way, create habits and rituals that support the health of your esteem and wellbeing…how do you discover and/or develop a (life)style that represents your fullest and truest expression of self?
Here are some ways to navigate the process of developing a new style for yourself after you’ve done some major healing.
No. 12 - A Checklist for Year Two
There is a theme for the second year of healing that is common amongst those I have spoken with on the healing journey, and that is an emphasis on nurturing and building the physical, from material and financial wealth, home bases, and the physical body.
After creating a spiritual and emotional foundation material goals have the space to be considered -- from building businesses to sculpting our physiques to rooting down in personal home spaces. There may be more clarity around where and how to invest one’s focus, manage and be in relationship with the day to day and what it is that is of most value for ourselves — after our health and safety.
As we heal and have the capacity to hold more (in responsibility, love, self-awareness) we may also find that we (once again) acquiesce to more instead of giving our energy over to what we really want for our lives going forward. Which is why, it is important that we check back in with our basics. In this edition of I Am Safe we get down to creating a checklist for year two, just as we did one full year ago when we started out on this healing journey.
*These resources do not replace the advice and care of a medical professional, and are created for informational purposes only.